Why should I participate in a Conversations on Racial Healing series?
We have hosted several Conversations on Racial Healing series over the last four years and have asked participants to share their stories of how the Racial Healing series either affected them, changed their perspective or behavior, or gave them an “ah-ha” moment. We share them with you to get you interested in our work, to share the stories with your friends, and to perhaps participate in a future series and/or become a donor to the program.
We need everyone’s participation in eliminating racial prejudice. If you would like to help us reach more people and you value more meaningful relationships with people outside of your comfort zone, please share these stories.
I’m not racist! Why should I join a Racial Healing series?
“I have participated in three of these series so far. Each session has taught me something different because each session has different people sharing their stories, their hurts and their prejudices.
I never would have considered myself a prejudiced person but I am realizing there is no way I could grow up in this country and more specifically in my mainly white suburban neighborhoods and NOT have racial bias. My single biggest take away is that people of color do not need to be “saved”. This mentality still puts me in thinking I am superior. People of color need systemic change that will require everyone’s participation to ensure ALL people have an equal playing field in EVERY facet of society. This requires dialogue, teamwork, effort and most of all LOVE for all of humanity.“
Racial Healing series fosters a deeper relationship
Dan is a white middle-aged man whose son married Aisha, an African American woman. Dan felt uncomfortable talking with Aisha because he had little experience with people who didn’t look like him and he did not want to cause friction by saying the wrong thing. Once he became a grandfather, Dan resolved to build a closer relationship with new mom Aisha and brought up his misgivings about communicating with her at the Racial Healing series. Several black participants offered possible explanations for Aisha’s behavior and suggested that Dan start a dialog with her to air out his concerns. After a heartfelt discussion with Aisha, Dan left on a business trip. When he returned a week later, Aisha greeted him with a big hug and said she missed him.
Racial Healing series explores unaware racism
“Coming from New York where we have different races, religions and cultures, living in Auburn was quite an eye opener. Since there are very few non-whites living here, I found people had preconceived notions about other races, etc., but always said they were not prejudiced. I saw it differently.
In 2016 I attended a series of classes put on by the Racial Healing Project, “Conversations on Racial Healing” where I learned about the different forms of racism. Cultural (stereotyping), Separatism (separate but equal), Institutional (power given to one group over another), and Unaware Racism. This last one is the most disheartening to me and which I think most people fall into.
We can usually spot the more overt forms of racism, but being unaware is tricky. Our class facilitator said, “Prejudice is an emotional commitment to ignorance.”
I credit this class in my continuing to say with pride, “I am not prejudiced” and being totally honest about it.”
Making instant friends – Racial Healing series participant experiences heightened awareness
Sue and her husband Tom are a middle-class white couple having little contact with people of color and few black people in their circle of friends. On a recent business trip, they were in a city that was hosting an antique car show while they were there, to the surprise of Sue and Tom. As they came back to their hotel after strolling through the antique cars, a black man got into the elevator after them and looked a bit apprehensive. Sue thought about what she had learned in the Racial Healing series about people of color feeling ignored. Instead of staying silent, Sue noticed that the black man’s T-shirt had an antique car on it. She smiled and asked if he had a car in the show. She could see his face relax as he told Sue and Tom all about his car.
Every child deserves fairness
When Vickie’s 8-year-old daughter came home from school one day, she seemed upset. Vickie asked her about her day and her daughter said: “It’s not fair that Ms. Michaels picks on Kaven so much!” (Kaven is an African American/Latino child and Vickie is white.) A few days later, Vickie bumped into Kaven’s mother at school and asked her how Kaven was doing. Kaven’s mom said that her son was always yelled at when being corrected, but the other kids were asked more quietly and kindly. She said that it hurt his feelings and seemed to happen every day. She said she appreciated how Vickie would talk to him kindly to redirect him when Vickie would help out in class. Vickie felt good that she wasn’t piling on to the issue, but wanted to do something more to help.
Vickie remembered a discussion on institutional racism from a Conversations on Racial Healing series and thought about how she could be an ally to Kaven’s mother. At the next parent-teacher conference, after Vickie discussed her daughter’s progress with Ms. Michaels, she mentioned that she had heard that some teachers sometimes treat black children more harshly than white children. They sometimes yell at them more than others, without even thinking of it. “I know you are a good teacher and you want the best for ALL the children in your classroom and you treat them well, but could you keep an eye out for the behavior of other teachers?” Vickie said. A few weeks later, Vickie saw Kaven’s mom at a school sports event. Kaven’s mother gave Vickie a big hug! She shared with Vickie that Kaven was no longer being unfairly singled out for harsh discipline. When there was an issue, he was asked kindly to correct his behavior, just like the other kids.
Sharing a Different Perspective on the Green Book film
After completing a Racial Healing series, several participants went to see the Green Book film and discussed the film over dinner. Lanelle, an African American woman, voiced her negative reaction to watching the Green Book film, and then mused:
“I believe I may be too concerned about whether White folks can handle my rage. I’d like to be more authentic with my disgust at how Black people have often been blocked from living fully realized lives.”
Alex is a white man who responded to Lanelle as an understanding ally:
“I very much appreciate you sharing your honest feelings and I hope you continue to feel enough respect and safety to go on doing so, including whatever anger and rage you may feel. I see racism as a form of mental illness that has infected the dominant culture (myself included) as well as the economic and power structures of our country. I think it is really a gift to those of us in the dominant culture to be woken up to the reality of the impact that racism has because the “story” we have grown up with minimizes or ignores that reality.
Thanks for your courage and your willingness to hang in there with us. Hopefully we can all keep learning together.”
Racial Healing series gives new clarity to a participant from India
Thank you for hosting a wonderful support group. I was able to share my concerns and opinion without the fear of being judged. The members were supportive, caring, and it was quite a learning experience. I am thankful for finding this group at the right time in my life. A lot of times, I questioned if I was the only one going through the pain and hatred, but listening to others, I understood that racism existed even before our founding fathers. I hope that someday people will peel the layers and know that we all bleed the same. I finally quit my job for good and decided to move on to pursue other career opportunities.